It was years ago now, but I’ll never forget the scene. My older daughter, Jamie, was in seventh grade, and she had always been daddy’s little girl. I thought things were great between us then, too, until one day when we were riding in the front seat of Kamp’s pickup truck along with her younger sister, Courtney.
Feeling really good as a dad, I asked, “Hasn’t this been a great year? Aren’t we having a great year as a father and daughters?”
To my surprise, my question was met with silence. Then, after a few awkwardly quiet moments, fifth-grader Courtney, the queen of integrity, said, “Jamie doesn’t like you very much.”
I went from surprised to stunned. Looking past Courtney, I saw Jamie hugging the truck door. “Really” I asked. “Tell me about it.” Jamie answered, “I haven’t liked you since November.” It was now March!!!
“Can you help me understand that?” I asked.
She began, “My friends wear clothes and jewelry you won’t let me wear. They get to pierce anywhere, and you won’t let me. My friends go to parties you don’t let me go to. My friends go to movies you won’t let me see, and I don’t like you.”
So, I gently responded, “That makes me sad. But you know what? That’s ok. I want to be your friend, but my job is to be your dad. If you don’t like me until you’re 23, that’s ok.”
I continued, “But when you’re 23 or 25 or whenever, you’re going to be in the back of a little chapel, slipping on a white gown and a white veil. Peanut, you’re going to be the most gorgeous bride, just like your mom. And I’m going to walk you down the wedding aisle. When you walk down that aisle, you won’t be ashamed. You won’t have regrets. My job is to make sure that as you walk down that aisle, you have no regrets. And when I place your hand in his, then take my seat in the front pew next to your mom, I want you to be able to turn around and say, ‘I like my dad.’ If you don’t like me until then, that’s ok.”
“That’s ok. I want to be your friend, but my job is to be your dad. If you don’t like me until you’re 23, that’s ok.”
That dear girl grew up well and fought through peer pressure like a champion. A few months later she played a song for me that she had purchased in a music store. “Have I ever told you, you are my hero? I can fly higher than an eagle. You are the wind beneath my wings.”
We are best friends to this day. Now, she is my hero.
There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow when children are raised with Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John present at every mealtime and bedtime and parent-child encounters along the way. With Jamie, we memorized chapters of the Bible together and Kamp led her into daily Bible studies throughout the winter months. Because of it, the wisdom and discernment she has as a mom of five kids is marvelous to my eyes. Through the stormy days, we had literally hundreds of devotionals and Bible times together. I’m amazed now at the way her five children love Jesus.
The Bible speaks so clearly and so accurately to parents like you and me when it says, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
Perseverance wins. Perseverance wins. Perseverance wins!
Together for the kids,
KEYWORDS: Behavior, Spiritual Identity, Purity, Relationships, Family,